CNY is over. School is starting soon. Meaning assignments are also due soon. SIANZXZXZXZX.

CNY was a very sad time for me. My mom had to tell me what time they'll be picking me up for the reunion dinner. And my parents would ask me in the car how am I. They'd also say goodbye to me when my dad drops me off before bringing them home. He even invited me to go upstairs.

I thought I'd have to be like, 30 and married for my own father to invite me to his house. It gets awfully quiet at my house with 4 less people. I do enjoy having my own room, but the feeling of them not being there is weird. I'd ask my mom if she could stay with me, but she'd say no, because that isn't her house anymore.

If I want to contact my sister or parents, I have to call them. And I don't even know their house phone number. I feel so funny. If I had something to pass to my mom, I have to make a time with her. Sometimes I really wish they had brains to buy a larger house. I only see all of them at Christmas and CNY, perhaps a birthday or two.

I guess this is training for when I get married and move out next time. But well, it still seems like a stereotype that families live together unless one kid is married. It's been a few months now. You'd think I'd have gotten used to it.


Anyway, just two more modules before I graduate. I really am dreading going to a University. It's gonna be a real change to my current slacking lifestyle. At least I get to feel how Dave feels.

Today.. She had the experience of having her heart ripped into two. It was over for them. That everything she had shared with him means absolutely nothing now. Those dreams. All meant so much but now nothing. As though it never happened.

It just seemed so perfect. He made her want to do things that she never wanted to do before in her life. He gave her brand new guts and motivation. A reason to wake up in the morning, and to wake up early. A new reason for existing.

But time heals all wounds. But will those wounds heal in the presence of the one who hurt her? Can she leave him without hurting him and someone else? Her pain is physical. She wants to see him but she can't. She finds reasons for hating him because anger's the only way she doesn't think of him.

But it made me think of the verse from Ecclesiastes 3:1

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

Perhaps it is what God intended for her, but not now. Perhaps she'll find comfort in that.